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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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1 entry this month
 

slow and steady, that's the waaaay...

23:00 Jul 23 2018
Times Read: 332


I'm not as good at writing as I was. Maybe that's the physical and the other stuff combined but things have got missed out and that's remiss of me.

I stayed away from my email account for several days, dreading the next news I’d read of Ian. I’ve been stressing out goodstyle, ever since he arrived back and now, since he brought the debtors to my Father’s door I’ve gotten quite ill, at times.

That said I do need access to it, so eventually I went back. An thought could irk me, feeling that need for the internet, but it’s use does has benefits; the difficult thing is that one has to remember it’s real place, in ones life and remember it’s ‘just a tool’.
And I don’t like the heat. It’s been the hottest this June since 1976, ‘they say’. Well, not recalling much about seventy six, as I enjoyed seventy five, through to seven I do not recall the heat then. Nut I know what it’s like now.”
And yes, I don’t like the heat.
After several hours spent watering the gardens neither does Dad.

He was sitting on the sofa, legs spread, his trousers pulled up a little, fanning himself with the Radio Times. He looked out of the front window and say, “It must be a hard life for worms in this weather…”
“Huh? Weird statement…” I’d retorted.
“It’s the idea of them… they must find it hard to move through the clay soil…”

Dad and I had finished the Thursday Housework and he’d sat on the sofa, lifting up his tee-shirt to complain that his vest was sticking to him with the heat; or so I’d thought, as he’d done so many times.

Instead, Dad had told me of the spider he had seen whilst at work in his bedroom.
“It was so big, I thought I’d never be seen again,” he’d told me, in utter seriousness. Then he’d added, “I knew it had been me or him and, I’m here…” I’d laughed, long and hard.

“‘They’ say that the white butterflies are disappearing,” Dad reminded me the other day, “but I’ve seen lots of late. They haven’t disappeared, they’ve moved to this area...” And in truth, I have seen quite a few myself.

Well, talking of nature… I’d been plodding round in trousers and little else, as I had hoovered my room. Then as I’d been packing the kit away, a spindly legged spider walked out from beneath my bed… so, I’d blown at it and reminded it, “Be grateful that I’m not my Dad, ‘coz he wouldn’t let you live…”
And whilst the verges and lawn of many are dried to dried yellow, our front lawn is still a verdant green, that my Father has ensured looks as healthy as it can be, by watering it with a green plastic watering can, morning, noon and night.

Then finally the endless lack of rain and exceptional heat seems as though it may end… as the sky darkened and it became cooler, with a light breeze, preceding a brief shower and promising more…

I did see the doctor the other day. She had been pleased to see me, although not so, with my loss of weight. And, I'd been offered antibiotics for my chest and face, which I'd declined politely, knowing full well that I already have a tolerance to them, so will only take them now if absolutely needed. And so far I can deal with the face and chest. The talking helped, as ever and, I'd been instructed to see her again, in a month.

And my nutrionist had been pleased that on my bad days, when I have issues with sold food, I have my ensure drinks, soup and… banana, blueberry and cream-shake. Well, I recalled apricots and peaches are on the list of fruits I can have, so bought some and sliced them apart to remove the stone, then froze them. I had made my days drink using several slices of apricot and a few less blueberries, then poured the mix in a well-washed yogurt pot and lid that I’d chilled in the fridge. Then before the nights rest I had listened to a Doctor Who audio, during which I had taken an intermission and poured some of my thick apricot, banana, blueberry cream-shake over several spoonfuls of vanilla ice-cream – and, tasted sheer chilled nectar.

And, although it did rain, it had been for a day and no more. Then Dad and I had been back to the watering-can and walking back and forth, a lot. It had also meant me sleeping on top of my bed, with the duvet thrust aside, 'coz of the annoying heat.

Yet that said, I did eat solid-food two days running and, I'm pleased with that. It may have taken almost two years and research to get at the point where I can do that. But, I'm aiming to put back the weight I've recently lost, having taken a year or so to attain.


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